Stories from the current online edition of Cellar Door. en-us http://www.thecellar-door.com Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:00:00 GMT http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/News/Faces.Of.The.National.Day.Of.Action.March-1859154.shtml On April 10, a record-breaking over 100,000 people gathered in Phoenix in the National Day of Action March to protest legislation that would, among other things, make illegal immigration a felony in the U.S. The crowd, while predominately Hispanic, was composed of a mix of races and people opposed to the legislation, from illegal immigrants from Mexico to local students and community members. News 4/19/06 Selected interviews from April 10 Aaron Stratton http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/News/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/News/Students.Walk.Out.On.Aims.April.10-1859161.shtml The National Day of Action March on April 10 coincided with the day of the AIMS test for students in Arizona, leading many Hispanic students to skip school or walk out before the test was completed, lowering scores in a population that is already among of the worst-performing in standardized tests in the state. News 4/19/06 Aaron Stratton http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/News/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/News/Gospel.Of.Judas.Discovered-1843712.shtml A Christian manuscript, containing the only authenticated text of the Gospel of Judas, has emerged after 1,700 years, and depicts the disciple not as a betrayer of Jesus but as his most beloved follower. The early Christian document diverges radically from the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John of the New Testament. News 4/19/06 National Geographic Releases Ancient Document Skylar Audesirk Writer http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/News/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/Democracy.In.America.Found.Its.Pulse.Again-1798438.shtml The impeachment of President Bush has finally gotten out of the closet. Discussions about impeaching the president have been circling around since the war in Iraq has started, and written arguments have been released that can lead to the possibility of impeachment. Opinion 4/19/06 Written arguments have been released that call for impeachment Dana Kraiche Writer http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/Final.Editorial.Death.To.The.Cellar.Door-1858988.shtml This whole "Cellar Door" thing started as an experiment: Can we do this, and make it last a semester? Then we formulated a new question: Can we do this again? Well, you get the point. This has been our third semester. And every moment has been worth it. Opinion 4/19/06 Sacha Talpur Co-Publisher, Co-Editor in-Chief, Op-ed http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/Its-Not.What.You.Do.Its.Who.You.Know-1847239.shtml In June 2005, Clifton Bennett and Kyle Wheeler, both 18-years-old, were camp counselors at the Arizona Association of Junior High Student Council at Chapel Rock Camp in Prescott. While in charge of 18 young boys ages 11 to 14, Bennett and Wheeler embarked on a twisted power trip that forever warped 18 children's' trust in authority figures, horrified parents of the hazing that goes on at children's summer camps, and has sparked a huge debate about what actually constitutes a sexual assault. Opinion 4/19/06 Yet another moral move by authority figures Lauren Wise Writer http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/Sexually.Charged.Women.Are.A.Product.Of.Mens.Expectations.And.Media.Not.Feminist-1858782.shtml Feminists and media executives have a long running battle for young girls' attention, but as girls' sexuality increases, it is becoming obvious whose interests teenage girls are taking into account. Sexually charged media outlets exhibit much of which is actually going on in with the American public, but what came first, sexually charged media or sexually charged youth? The sexuality itself is not the problem, but rather that the girls should consider their own interests when making decisions about their sexual existence. Opinion 4/19/06 The difference between risque and sexual empowerment is blurred as women are pushed to act overtly sexual Caroline Jackson Writer http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/No.SugarCoating.With.Kirsten.Keane-1858020.shtml Dear Kirsten, I've been living with my roommate since the beginning of fall semester, and we get along pretty well; however, I think she has a drinking problem. I see her drinking all the time, and it's getting out of hand to the point where she's failing classes and getting involved with some strange people. Opinion 4/19/06 What to do with (or to) your alcoholic friend Kirsten Keane http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/A.Potty.To.The.Problem.National.Indolence-1802188.shtml Call me a despondent Social Darwinist, call me a cynical crank, call me a hardcore pessimist out of sync with these prodigious technological times. Call me what you will, I have uncovered yet again more empirical evidence that our post-modern society is on the precipice of a malodorous sink, teetering on a swirling behavioral vortex that leads to a bottomless abyss from which there is no salvation. Opinion 4/19/06 Bill Alewyn Columnist http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/Ill-Have.The.Chicken.Strips.Please-1847809.shtml Tempe, Chandler, Gilbert, Ahwatukee, Peoria, Scottsdale… Go to any of these cities and most likely you will find a standard setup of restaurants: your Cheesecake factory, Mimi's café, undoubtedly a Starbucks, Chili's, Applebee's, you name it. These are all familiar to you, because these are what define restaurant success. Opinion 4/19/06 The disadvantages of the chain restaurant leah chlupsa http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper769/thumbs/t_egimiq6l.JPG http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Opinion/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/Asu-Professor.Professes.Love.For.Scarface-1858326.shtml On the opening night of the Last Lecture Series on Tuesday evening, ASU Professor Oscar Giner spoke of the importance of the classic film Scarface in his lecture, "In Praise of Scarface: Cuban Gangsters and Hip Hop Myth." Delivering the talk as "if tomorrow I were to be taken out and shot by a firing squad," Giner attributed the movie's popularity to its aesthetic pattern, the ability of the audience to project themselves into the film, and the way the film taps into the myth of national identity and collective consciousness. Entertainment 4/19/06 Hip-hop, cocaine, and academia Leah Duran http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/Entertainment.Briefs.The.Final.Chapter-1858491.shtml 1- What's lazier than taking a walk? Playing video games. And what, pray tell, is lazier than playing video games? How about watching people play video games. And that's exactly what you might be able to do this winter. Major League Gaming, Inc. (wtf?), has signed a deal with the USA Network to air gaming competitions on Saturday mornings between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Entertainment 4/19/06 Matt Grey Assistant Editor-in-Chief/ Entertainment Editor/ The Rag Editor http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/Cellar.Door.Showcase.Spotlight.Vasquez-1858736.shtml Cellar Door: I'm here with founding member Donny Ducote of local band Vasquez, who will be performing in the "Death to Cellar Door" farewell showcase this coming April 27th at the Clubhouse and he's graced us with his effervescent presence to learn a little more about the band's role in our local music scene. Entertainment 4/19/06 Wasef El-Kharouf http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/A.Video.Game.That.Makes.You.Smarter-1858426.shtml Last night, the floating, disembodied head of a Japanese doctor forced me to solve 20 simple math equations in under thirty seconds, belittled my performance, then concluded that my brain was similar to that of a 74-year-old. And I liked it. Brain Age, which comes out this week for the Nintendo DS, is often so thoroughly weird as to approach the surreal. Entertainment 4/19/06 Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes A Day is head-scratching fun Sam Gavin Entertainment Editor http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/Hollywood.Baby.Hype-1858331.shtml "Stop the presses! Hold all copies - a celebrity just gave birth!" Those lines must run rampant throughout the offices of the Hollywood "rag-mags" nearly every week. With all the hype surrounding celebrity moms and moms-to-be like Angelina Jolie, Gwen Stefani and Katie Holmes, one has to ask - who cares? The most recent celebrity birth, of course, is Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin (of Coldplay) welcoming their new son, Moses, this past week. Entertainment 4/19/06 Teresa LuPone Entertainment Staff Writer http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/Brickhouse.Reopens.With.A.New.Focus-1844156.shtml The Brickhouse Theater is now back open with a new restaurant and new arts focus. Entertainment 4/19/06 Venue features new restaurant and outlook Si Robins http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/Entertainment/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/Rag-News.Briefs-1856698.shtml A study released recently by the Penis Research Institute and Center of Knowledge (PRICK) shows that men who drive trucks of equal or greater size than the Ford F250 have ridiculously large penises and are well justified in being total jackasses on the road due to their huge dicks. the Rag 4/19/06 Alex Dodt Writer http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/Satire.Editor.Murders.Local.Paper-1856750.shtml In what has been described as "odd" and "sort of mean," a local newspaper satire editor mangled and killed his newspaper earlier this week. Matt Grey, who has worked for Cellar Door since its inception in early 2005, had long expressed his vague dismay with the paper, and on Monday, his long standing feud with the publication came to a soggy and confusing end. the Rag 4/19/06 Historic feud comes to soggy, confusing end Matt Grey Assistant Editor-in-Chief/ Entertainment Editor/ The Rag Editor http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/Natural.Selection.Phase.Two.Not.So.Natural.This.Time-1856700.shtml President Tarja Halonen of Finland, upon his appointment in March of 2006, stated in a nationally televised speech, "Let's concentrate less on finding intelligent life on other planets, and focus more on finding some on ours," spurring discontent and turmoil within the science community-not to mention fans of The X-Files, Star Wars, and even Lilo and Stitch. the Rag 4/19/06 the gene pool gets its fix with the Determinator Kirsten Keane http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/ Other http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/The-Inner.Circle.Episode.Iv.The.YakYakYak.Of.The.Cloned-1856702.shtml LIGHTS UP. Deep in the lower bowels of the White House elite members of the Evil Empire continue to scheme and plot even as their world of corruption crumbles around them. Dubya, their titular leader, is now wearing a shiny black Darth Vader facemask as he addresses his co-conspirators in a voice that sounds like James Earl Jones talking through a scuba tank regulator. the Rag 4/19/06 Bill Alewyn Columnist http://www.thecellar-door.com/news/2006/04/19/TheRag/ Other